First of all, you can’t really blame yourself if you have herpes. It’s a virus that can affect anybody, no matter what size, age or sex they are.
So, don’t blame yourself.
But I understand, it can be both an embarrassing and hard thing to tell someone, especially a person you’ve either just started dating or been dating someone with herpes for some time now.
But if you have herpes, this person needs to know so that he or she can reduce the chances of him or her getting the virus themselves.
Now, there are two types of herpes; one that affects the genital area and one that affects the area around your mouth and inside it.
Both of them have some varying symptoms and effects, but they have a few things in common like affecting someone through physical affections and touch. For example, genital herpes is carried on to the other person through sexual contact and mouth herpes is carried on through kisses and fluid exchanges.
In any case, you probably already know what herpes is so today I want to discuss how you can break these news to your date or your partner!
So let’s begin!
Dating with Herpes Is More Common Than You Think
Many people think that herpes isn’t really all that common and is a sign of someone probably cheating on their partner, but that’s really not the case in most situations.
It’s actually a fact that 3 out of 5 adults carry the mouth herpes virus, without them ever knowing about it most of the time. The symptoms don’t always show when it comes to mouth herpes, and when you get blisters and around your mouth you often think that it’s a temporary bacteria or something like that.
But it may very well be herpes. And it doesn’t mean that you’ve been cheating on your partner or date, the virus is something you could have picked up long before your current relationship.
The same goes for genital herpes, that kind of virus could have been picked up through another sexual experience in your life.
The important thing to remember is that you cannot blame yourself, unless you actually are cheating on someone, since you can’t really prevent the virus from infiltrating your body. All you can do is try to treat it once you’ve learned of its existence.
How You Can Tell Your Date Thar You Have Herpes
Okay, so you’ve gone to the doctor and been given the diagnosis that you do in fact have herpes, no matter if it’s genital or mouth herpes.
Now that you have this information it’s time to break the news to your partner so that he or she may be informed of the current situation.
But you can’t just barge in on your next date and say:
“I have herpes.”
You’ll be like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, bluntly pointing out your sickness, which in this case is a virus that’s not deadly and can be treated.
No, you want to break the news gently to him or her, without beating around the bush. Give it to them straight, but be serene and gentle about it.
Here’s how a scenario of your admission of guilt when it comes to herpes might look like:
You’ve reserved a table at a fancy restaurant and you’re about to embark on your fourth date with this lovely woman.
Yesterday was when you found out about your situation and you decided wait until your date to tell her.
In any case, you meet, you sit down you laugh and have a good time. Here’s where it gets tricky since you need to find a good time when to tell her.
Try looking for a moment of silence. When you find it, gently tell her the truth that you visited the doctor yesterday due to blisters around your mouth or pain in your genital area, depending on the type of herpes.
You tell her that you were diagnosed with herpes and that she must know before you continue any further, for her own safety.
That’s basically it when it comes to actually telling her. I know, easier said than done, so that’s why I have more tips for you.
Tips when it comes to telling him or her:
- You need to be completely honest about it.
- You need to let this person know that you’re telling them this for their own safety. This is
- reassuring for any kind of person.
- Let him or her know that you are just as surprised as him or her and that you must have
- picked it up before your time together.
- Let them know that it’s hard for you too and that you have never been through something similar.
- Offer your help and support when it comes to them checking themselves at a doctor’s office.
For more dating tips for someone with herpes?
What you need to understand is that there’s no reason for any of you to delve on how you could have gotten the virus. You have it so now it’s time to move on and try to get rid of it.
The trick to telling someone about your herpes situations is that being honest and vulnerable. Let the other person know that this is hard on you and that you need their support to get through it. This will trigger emotional instincts and will increase your chances of your date continuing your relationship with him or her.
You also have to let him or her know that you will be there for them in their time of need as well if it turns out that they too have herpes now. And lastly, even though it’s not your fault, let them know how sorry you are.
Serenity, honesty, vulnerability and remorse are the keys you need for dating with herpes when it comes to telling your date that you have herpes, no matter if it’s genital or mouth herpes.