Monthly Archives: July 2015

How To Reveal To Your Date That You Have Herpes

First of all, you can’t really blame yourself if you have herpes. It’s a virus that can affect anybody, no matter what size, age or sex they are.

So, don’t blame yourself.

35402015031217213680715035But I understand, it can be both an embarrassing and hard thing to tell someone, especially a person you’ve either just started dating or been dating someone with herpes for some time now.

But if you have herpes, this person needs to know so that he or she can reduce the chances of him or her getting the virus themselves.

Now, there are two types of herpes; one that affects the genital area and one that affects the area around your mouth and inside it.

Both of them have some varying symptoms and effects, but they have a few things in common like affecting someone through physical affections and touch. For example, genital herpes is carried on to the other person through sexual contact and mouth herpes is carried on through kisses and fluid exchanges.

In any case, you probably already know what herpes is so today I want to discuss how you can break these news to your date or your partner!

So let’s begin!

Dating with Herpes Is More Common Than You Think

Many people think that herpes isn’t really all that common and is a sign of someone probably cheating on their partner, but that’s really not the case in most situations.

It’s actually a fact that 3 out of 5 adults carry the mouth herpes virus, without them ever knowing about it most of the time. The symptoms don’t always show when it comes to mouth herpes, and when you get blisters and around your mouth you often think that it’s a temporary bacteria or something like that.

But it may very well be herpes. And it doesn’t mean that you’ve been cheating on your partner or date, the virus is something you could have picked up long before your current relationship.

The same goes for genital herpes, that kind of virus could have been picked up through another sexual experience in your life.

The important thing to remember is that you cannot blame yourself, unless you actually are cheating on someone, since you can’t really prevent the virus from infiltrating your body. All you can do is try to treat it once you’ve learned of its existence.

How You Can Tell Your Date Thar You Have Herpes

Okay, so you’ve gone to the doctor and been given the diagnosis that you do in fact have herpes, no matter if it’s genital or mouth herpes.

Now that you have this information it’s time to break the news to your partner so that he or she may be informed of the current situation.

But you can’t just barge in on your next date and say:

“I have herpes.”

You’ll be like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, bluntly pointing out your sickness, which in this case is a virus that’s not deadly and can be treated.

No, you want to break the news gently to him or her, without beating around the bush. Give it to them straight, but be serene and gentle about it.

Here’s how a scenario of your admission of guilt when it comes to herpes might look like:

You’ve reserved a table at a fancy restaurant and you’re about to embark on your fourth date with this lovely woman.

Yesterday was when you found out about your situation and you decided wait until your date to tell her.

In any case, you meet, you sit down you laugh and have a good time. Here’s where it gets tricky since you need to find a good time when to tell her.

Try looking for a moment of silence. When you find it, gently tell her the truth that you visited the doctor yesterday due to blisters around your mouth or pain in your genital area, depending on the type of herpes.

You tell her that you were diagnosed with herpes and that she must know before you continue any further, for her own safety.

That’s basically it when it comes to actually telling her. I know, easier said than done, so that’s why I have more tips for you.

Tips when it comes to telling him or her:

  • You need to be completely honest about it.
  • You need to let this person know that you’re telling them this for their own safety. This is
  • reassuring for any kind of person.
  • Let him or her know that you are just as surprised as him or her and that you must have
  • picked it up before your time together.
  • Let them know that it’s hard for you too and that you have never been through something similar.
  • Offer your help and support when it comes to them checking themselves at a doctor’s office.

For more dating tips for someone with herpes?

Conclusion

What you need to understand is that there’s no reason for any of you to delve on how you could have gotten the virus. You have it so now it’s time to move on and try to get rid of it.

The trick to telling someone about your herpes situations is that being honest and vulnerable. Let the other person know that this is hard on you and that you need their support to get through it. This will trigger emotional instincts and will increase your chances of your date continuing your relationship with him or her.

You also have to let him or her know that you will be there for them in their time of need as well if it turns out that they too have herpes now. And lastly, even though it’s not your fault, let them know how sorry you are.

Serenity, honesty, vulnerability and remorse are the keys you need for dating with herpes when it comes to telling your date that you have herpes, no matter if it’s genital or mouth herpes.

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It’s Not Herpes! But how about dating with herpes?

When Jonathan Mitchell developed a coldsore over night, he had become the laughing stock of the school. Not a single resident at Northfield High overlooked the fact that coldsores were in fact herpes. They called him ‘Herpes Boy’ in the halls, flicked rubber bands at him in class, and never failed to point and laugh. He was treated as if his random facial display of herpes was in direct relation to a bad case of the genital kind. Funny joke, blah, blah, blah.

37222013110717260230703468Fast forward an entire year, and give the hottest girl in school the exact same cluster of scabby plasma infecting her upper lip, and nobody gives two shits. Either the class of twenty-twelve had come on leaps and bounds in terms of maturity, or everyone was too busy thinking about getting in her pants. Either way, Jonathan Mitchell didn’t care. In fact, he was glad; it took the focus off his own case of HSV.

But he learned a valuable lesson in life that year, and so too did the entire graduating class of Northfield High. Despite the grotesque outward infection growing around Sarah Milton’s pie-hole, she had no trouble getting head jock and professional dick-head to play tennis with her tonsils. As you’d expect, he very quickly contracted his own case of oral herpes, and before you know it, he had broken her heart and moved on.

It was Janine Dafoe next, who literally leapt at the chance of contracting herpes from someone so cool as Danny, and she passed it to Ronny Chen. Before you know it, the entire crowd of popular imbeciles had cross contaminated each other, and it got to a stage when, really, nobody knew who had who’s herpes? But oh no, it didn’t stop there. That would have been too easy.

Remember, this was the popular crowd, which meant that near on every group of lesser popularity not only lusted after them, but wouldn’t dare turn down the opportunity to lock lips with any of them. Even Emily Estelle (your typical, but somehow popular, fat girl), had no trouble passing her herpes down to a couple of dorks from the after school maths club. Of course, nobody questioned what she was doing there… Surely she was too popular to care about numbers and education?

It wasn’t long before the entire class of twenty-twelve smelled of coldsore cream and groaned with pain each time they needed to yawn or eat. Jonathan Mitchell found it all rather amusing! Now everybody was suffering the same as he had. Unluckily for him, however, he was a chronic sufferer, and while most would rid themselves of that unsightly smudge of wannabe-pizza within a couple of weeks, he’d have to go on in fear of its return.

Still, he enjoyed the short period of time that he did have fitting in with the others. But then something happened, something that he could never had expected or planned for.

Winters firm grasp loosened, leaves and blossom appeared on the trees seemingly overnight, and Jonathan woke up without a certain pain and tightness around his mouth. He leapt out of bed and rushed to his small bathroom, where his mirrored reflection was free from herpes! Somehow, the virus had miraculously faded completely from site. He was used to it clearing up, but never before had it left him entirely.

He headed down for breakfast as bright as a button, enjoying the early morning sun more so than he ever had before. It was his day! His time to shine. More excited than you’d expect about something so trivial, he packed his bag for school and skipped to the bus, making sure he spoke to everybody on the way. While they were all suffering from herpes (in one or another) he was completely free from its hold; and he made sure they all knew about it!

School started out great, with near on everybody congratulating him on his escape and complaining about their own, until suddenly, the entire school had a revelation. While the rest of them had been kissing and spreading around the fast growing virus, Jonathan had been kiss free. He’d have to have been, to have made such a wild recovery from his own herpes.

It started out with him being called ‘frigid,’ whatever that means, then quickly developed into ‘loser’ and ‘virgin.’ It seemed that no matter what, he was doomed to be picked on. That day he left school early, claiming that he felt sick, but the only thing he was truly sick of was everybody’s shit. He couldn’t do anything right. Bullied for coldsores, bullied for clear skin, and he hadn’t been blind to the fact that they referred to their own herpes as coldsores, either. Why was it just him that got reminded about what it really was, day in day out.

It was then that he realised, while lying restlessly in bed with the sun beating in through the window, that it wasn’t him that was the bully target. It wasn’t anything personal against him, it wasn’t even really him that was bullied, it was something different. Anything out of the ordinary, anything that isn’t ‘normal’ or a part of the majority. A coldsore when no one had one, was strange, no coldsore when the entire world (as far as they’re concerned) was suffering, even stranger.

He was the epitome of different, everything that put teenagers on edge. If everybody smoked, he’d go for a jog; if they all played video games, he’d read books. When he saw the trends of the school so objectively, it didn’t seem so bad. It game him a chance to look at himself objectively too, and see that, no, he wasn’t doing so bad. He wouldn’t use girls and leave them on a whim, he didn’t harm his lungs with nicotine and tar, and he thought it important to focus on his education.

He looked at the slightly more adult versions of the school kids, the college kids, and saw that actually, he wasn’t doing too bad at all. He was on track to shine, get the girl, and get the grades. All he had to do was hang in there just a little longer. Hopefully his herpes would stay away in the meantime!